


Never Enough

by SoWrongItsLottie



Series: It's All About... Malec! [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Favourite couple, M/M, Malec, angsty fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoWrongItsLottie/pseuds/SoWrongItsLottie
Summary: Alec Lightwood had always done the best that he could when it came down to following his parent’s orders. For a long time, he had pushed his own dreams and ambitions away in favor of following the path they have wanted him to walk since he was a little kid and like the good son, he wanted nothing more than to please them. He had thought that he was doing that until the High Inquisitor visits and Alec is left doubting his abilities to run the Institute, and in turn, he goes to the one person he can trust and rely on for support; Magnus Bane.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: It's All About... Malec! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792186
Comments: 26
Kudos: 87





	Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone; I bring to you my first ever Malec one-shot!
> 
> I was giving the challenge by my fellow writer, MyOwnWay, to create a fluffy one-shot surrounding Alec having a bad day and Magnus making it better. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure if I managed to hit the brief of this, I'll leave that for you all to decide, but I'm pretty happy with the end result and the ending pretty much ties in nicely with the next one-shot that I've already started planning so... yeah, keep an eye out for that :)
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think in the comments below & as always Stay Happy & Healthy - _SoWrongItsLottie_

Alec’s head was pounding as he lay down on the couch in his office.

He knew that taking over the initial running of the Institute from his parents would be hard work, he knew that he would run up against some brick walls and he also knew that there would be a lot of paperwork which needed to be completed and filed away after every mission – he didn’t mind doing that, just like he didn’t mind staying up later than the others in order to make sure that it’s finished – that was all fine. What he did mind though, and what he never thought would happen in a million years, is getting this much stick from Isabelle and Jace when he accepted the role.

Ever since he said yes, they have been acting as if he’s no longer their brother, that he’s nothing more to them than just being than their boss and he honestly hates that. He even questioned them about it when they got back from patrol one evening, not that it did any good.

“ _If we would have told you about the last mission, you would have automatically disapproved_.” Jace had told him as he reached for the Seraph Blade he had used for the last mission and put it back in the storage closet. “ _If you weren’t running this place, then you wouldn’t have thought twice about coming with us; you’re my Parabatai, and we go into battle together. But you’re too into following the rules, you don’t know how to loosen up_.”

“ _I love you brother, but Jace is right_.” Isabelle had chimed in as she walked up the steps to the training area. “ _I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, this is something that you’ve always wanted and I’m proud of you for being able to accomplish it but you need to remember to have some fun_.”

All Alec could do was frown after them as they walked away, talking between them about the highlights of the mission.

He couldn’t deny that they were right though.

It’s true that this has been something in which he has been working hard for ever since he was old enough to understand the purpose of the Institute and the importance of his parent’s job within the Clave but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like to live a little. He’s been known to have broken a fair few of the Clave’s rules in his time, especially when Clary first came into their lives; he probably couldn’t even count them on one hand.

It’s not something he’s proud of though.

As the eldest of the Lightwood children, Alec is the one who has been chosen to take care of the New York Shadowhunter’s when his parents eventually decide to fully take a step back from the Institute, perhaps take some time to work on fixing the broken shards of a marriage for Max’s sake as much as their own. When that times comes, it’s going to be up to Alec to make sure that everything carries on running as smooth as possible. It’s up to him to carry the Lightwood name and fix the mistakes that his parents had made in their time, maybe even put some new rules into place among the Shadowhunter’s to help educate them better about Downworlders, and how they can be trustworthy allies.

It’s up to Alec to make sure that any and all conflicts in the future are avoided.

Which often means saying no to his siblings.

As much as he wants to please them, by allowing them to conduct and execute the missions their own way, Alec has to put his foot down when it comes to making sure that they follow along with the Clave’s rules, regardless of how twisted some of them can be. _The law is the law_ , he would solemnly remind them as they started to argue with him, and he desperately wished that Isabelle and Jace would just take a second to understand that and to realize that when it comes down to official business, his hands are tied; literally.

He can’t always say yes and if things go wrong, then even he won’t be able to keep them safe from the Clave’s punishments.

But hey, if they want to learn the hard way, then they’re more than happy to takeover for a week.

 _They’d probably burn the place down within a day_ , Alec thinks as he lets his eyes close.

Alec can feel his eyelids getting heavier as he starts to drift off.

His head is still pounding as he shifts to get comfortable, finally settling on his left side after a few minutes and lets out a long exhale of breath.

For the past seventy-two hours, Alec had been working pretty much non-stop; he grabbed a few hours rest here and there but he doesn’t even think that he’s taken any time to grab something decent to eat, which mixed with the lack of sleep probably explains the pounding in his head. The Institute has been busier than usual and with news of demon attacks hitting Midtown, Alec needed to keep an eye on the reports to make sure that there were no civilians harmed all the while allocating patrols to his team every half hour. He briefly considered sending Isabelle to check if Meliorn could persuade his Queen to help defend the Mundanes but he thought better of it. Ever since the night he had taken him captive and was due to deliver him to the Clave, things had been tense between them and he didn’t want to make things worse.

 _The last thing I need right now is a pissed-off Seelie_ , Alec thinks as he lets out a yawn. _At least we sorted the issue out on our own_.

His team had managed to get all the attacks under control after a few hours and it had allowed Alec to finally have some time to himself.

At least, that’s what he was hoping for.

“So, _this_ is what you get up to when you’re not watching your rogue siblings.” A brisk voice calls out from the door to the office.

Alec’s eyes fly open and he pushes himself up from the couch, his tiredness forgotten as he looked round at the newcomer.

“Madame Inquisitor,” he greets with a slight bow, his lips dry. “I was just… I wasn’t informed that you would be visiting today.”

“And why should you be?” The Inquisitor responds, her tone sharp and her words short as she moves over to his desk. “You’re only the acting Head of the Institute while your parents’ sort through the official paperwork to make you the permanent choice… if you’re successful, that is.”

“Ma’am?” Alec asks, his head spinning as he moves to stand in front of the Inquisitor… in front of _his_ desk.

“How long have you been running this Institute, Mr Lightwood?”

Alec takes a second too long to think; the Inquisitor is deliberately putting him under pressure in the hopes that he would slip up and say the wrong thing. He doesn’t want to say the wrong thing but he’s anxious about why she even dropped by unannounced, today of all days.

“Mr Lightwood, is that too hard of a question for you?” The Inquisitor asks, her tone patronizing.

“Two months, Madame Inquisitor,” Alec replies, his mind certain of the answer but his voice betrayed him, sounding unsure.

Madame Inquisitor doesn’t say anything in response to that, she just stares up at him through cold eyes.

Alec shifts nervously from one foot to the other.

He has been around senior officials of the Clave before, but being scrutinized by the High Inquisitor of Idris… it made him anxious. Not only that, but he didn’t understand why he was getting a surprise visit from her, there had been no official reports filed that needed her assistance and as far as Alec is aware, everything had been running smooth enough that he was confident that he was at least doing an adequate job.

The look on the Inquisitor’s face told him otherwise, and he felt sick to his stomach as he waited for her to speak.

“You’re two months into running this Institute and you have already had more reported Demon attacks and unauthorized missions than any of the other Institutes, combined. The majority of the missions involving your siblings, whether that’s a coincidence or not, I don’t know but I’m beginning to think that your parents made a very big mistake in leaving you in charge in their absence. Perhaps it would have been better for you to have more time to prepare for the role, or perhaps they should have made the decision to call in someone else to shadow you for a few days before leaving.” Madame Inquisitor says, her tone cold and her eyes never leaving Alec. “I must say I’m very disappointed, Mr Lightwood.”

“With all due respect, Ma’am, but I’ve been running the Institute just fine without assistance.”

“ _Just fine_ ,” she repeats, her eyes calculating as she looks up at him.

“That’s not…” Alec starts but she immediately cuts him off.

“I would certainly hope that even as an acting Head of this Institute that it would be run better than _just fine_ , Mr Lightwood, though I wouldn’t have expected anything more than that from a Shadowhunter who has a conflict of interest when it comes down to dealing with Downworlder.” Madame Inquisitor stated, standing back up from the chair and taking a step around the desk in order to face him as she continued to say, “Which is why I am going to be appointing Jace as the new Head of the New York Institute from this moment on, at least until the official vote has been taken.”

Alec’s heart stops beating for a second as he looks at her, shock spreading across his expression.

“Inquisitor…” Alec started but again, she cut him off.

“It’s _Madame_ Inquisitor, Mr Lightwood, and I don’t believe that this is a discussion; you will step down effective immediately.”

Alec opened his mouth to protest but he quickly shut it again.

Arguing with her would do no good, and it certainly wouldn’t win him any points with his parents when they find out that he’s been demoted in favor of Jace, of all people. Don’t get him wrong, Alec is happy that Jace is finally getting a chance to prove his leadership skills but he doesn’t know the first thing about running the New York Institute, it was never in his plans and it most certainly wasn’t part of Maryse and Robert’s plans either.

Alec can only imagine how Isabelle is going to react when she finds out that there’s been a change in leadership when it’s time for the next meeting, which if Madame Inquisitor has anything to say about it, won’t be long now.

Letting out a sigh, Alec bows stiffly to the Madame Inquisitor and turns to walk out of the office.

* * * * * *

Alec had needed to walk in order to calm himself down, his tiredness long forgotten, as he walked down an almost deserted street in China Town. His mind wasn’t in control of his feet as he walked, his head bowed down low and eyebrows furrowed as he thought about what had just happened.

Jace had been chosen to take over the role as Head of the New York Institute.

Alec had been asked to step down immediately, and it was suggested that he was to take some time away from the Institute and that was all before he had to pass his fellow Shadowhunter’s, walk past _his_ own team that looked to him for advice and leadership, being escorted like he was criminal by Madame Inquisitor’s security team down to the grand foyer with nothing more than his precious bow and quiver strapped on his back and a few minimal choices of clothes that should last him a few days stuffed into a duffel bag which he tightened his grip on.

 _This wasn’t how this was supposed to go,_ Alec thought as he headed further down the street.

There have been times in his life that he could recall being classed as a disappointment to his parents, one of them being when he had called off his wedding to Lydia Branwell in favor of kissing Magnus Bane in front of the entire Clave that was in attendance but that compared to how he was feeling right now was a whole other level. When he called off the wedding, he felt like a great big weight had been lifted off of his shoulder, he found himself being able to breath a lot easier when he realized what he truly wanted. It’s true that his Mom was beyond pissed at him and she did a pretty good job at giving him the silent treatment but he didn’t think that he could ever do something so wrong that it would top that.

He should have known that things were going too smoothly.

He hadn’t received any contact from the Clave for a few days, it was practically radio silent on their side, and Alec was too focused on dealing with the Demon attacks to even pay them any mind. He was doing the best that he could to contain the level of destruction the Demons were creating; he was trying his best to hold not only himself but the entire Institute together and he honestly believed that it was working out.

Ever since he was promoted to Head of the Institute following his parent’s departure, people were actually starting to listen to him when he gave them orders, they followed them without questioning his judgement and after so many years of having his orders ignored by Isabelle and Jace, even they started to listen to him… most of the time, at least. People were finally starting to listen to him and Alec had to admit that he liked it.

Growing up, he was always overshadowed by Jace and Isabelle; they were the most confident out of the Lightwood’s and as hard as they tried, they couldn’t seem to bring Alec out of his shell. He was most content when he was training or spending his time reading in his room. Growing up at the Institute, it didn’t exactly allow Alec to be social with others who weren’t Shadowhunter’s, but that all changed when he met Magnus. 

From the moment Alec had laid eyes on the Warlock, it was like he was being seen by someone for the first time in a long time.

Magnus has always said that it was Alec who had unlocked something within him but in all honesty, it was Magnus who had unlocked Alec. It was Magnus that brought Alec out of his shell and gave him both the confidence and the reassurance in which he needed in order to become a leader that his parents would be proud of. Once news reaches them about this, Alec can only hope that Magnus would be able to reassure him that everything would be okay… that his parents would still believe in his abilities, and would go against Madame Inquisitor’s decision to demote him.

As Alec stops walking, he lets himself think of the worst-case scenario; even if Maryse and Robert take the news badly, Alec’s not going to be alone. Isabelle and Jace might be on his side but out of all of them, Magnus is the one that will stand by Alec, no matter what.

With this thought in mind, it didn’t surprise Alec when he finally looked up and found himself standing in front of Magnus’ apartment building.

It seems as though his mind was in control of his feet after all as this is exactly where he wanted to be right now.

* * * * * *

“Alexander!” Magnus beams as he opens the door to his apartment but upon seeing the look on Alec’s face, he adds, “What’s happened?”

Alec shifts from one foot to the other, one hand rubbing the back of his neck as he looks at Magnus through thick lashes, duffel bag in hand.

“Would it be alright if I stay with you for a while?” He asks softly, his voice low.

“You never have to ask, Alexander; you’re always welcome to stay,” Magnus smiles, his tone soft as he takes hold of Alec’s hand.

Alec returns his smile with a smile of his own, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he lets the Warlock lead him over the threshold and into the apartment, shutting the door behind him with a quick flick of his wrist and minimal exertion of magic to put his wards in place.

“Thank you.”

All of the tension that was in Alec’s body melted away the moment he stepped into the apartment, the familiar warmth of Magnus’ presence alone was enough to ease the tension out of Alec’s shoulders and once again the exhaustion he had felt earlier this evening, came rushing back to him. He stumbled forward a step and was caught by Magnus, his hands resting on his shoulders as if to steadying him.

“Hey, are you alright?” Magnus asked, his eyes scanning over Alec. “Are you hurt?”

Alec shakes his head as he looks at Magnus, a soft smile on his lips as he leans forward until their foreheads touch.

“Alexander…” Magnus breathes out, reaching a hand up so that it’s resting on the back of Alec’s neck. “Talk to me.”

“I’m okay, I’m just a little tired,” Alec admits, letting out a small sigh. “It’s been a long day.”

Magnus catches Alec’s gaze and looks at him with concern as he contemplates his words.

Magnus knew that Alec worked harder than any other Shadowhunter he had known in order to get to his ambition of running the Institute, it was a quality in which Magnus could relate; he had to fight tooth and nail to become the High Warlock of Brooklyn and he didn’t want to think about how many all-nighters he had spent in dealing with one problem or another, his magic being pushed until he was on the brink of passing out.

It’s also a quality that has certainly helped Magnus to connect with Alec.

During all the late nights he spent with Alec in his office at the Institute, he watched the young Shadowhunter pouring over multiple reports, his hands running through his unruly hair when he was trying to work out the next piece of the puzzle, his shoulders tensing while his posture grew taller when he was addressing his subordinates. It made Magnus feel so unbelievably proud to see him in action, to see him dive into his role as the Head of the New York Institute, to see him achieving his dreams and following them that one step closer towards becoming the High Inquisitor of Alicante.

But the Alec that was standing in front of him now, he wasn’t the same, confident Alec that he saw direct his own team.

This Alec was disheveled, tired and unable to keep from looking anywhere and everywhere.

To Magnus, he reminded him of a deer that was caught in the headlights, not knowing what to do next and the resemblance broke his heart.

“I’m sorry for just dropping by like this but I didn’t know where else to go,” Alec murmurs, his tone weary.

“Don’t apologize, I’m glad that you came to me. Now, why don’t you come and have a seat and I’ll get you a cup of tea,” Magnus replies softly, tilting his head up just enough to meet Alec’s lips, kissing him briefly before gesturing with one arm to the couch, his other remained resting on Alec’s shoulder, letting him know in his own way that he’s here for him and that he’s glad that he came to him.

“I don’t suppose you have anything stronger?” Alec asks as he leans back against the plush material.

Magnus looks over his shoulder at Alec, his eyebrows raised in question as he pauses on his way to the drink’s cabinet.

“Like I said, it’s been a long day.” Alec confirms, a small hint of a smile on his lips.

“Wine it is,” Magnus smiles back, summoning two wines glasses into his hand and turning back to the cabinet.

Magnus found it endearing, really, that Alec had asked for something stronger than tea. When he had first met the Shadowhunter, he wasn’t much of a drinker, but after spending the occasional evening at Magnus’ apartment, he had seemed to have acquired a taste for alcohol, though Magnus was always careful in choosing the drinks he gave to Alec, not wanting to incapacitate the Shadowhunter in case he was needed back at the Institute.

It’s become one of Magnus’ favorite time of the day, enjoying Alec’s company as they connect over drinks.

Who is he kidding?

Anytime he spends with Alexander is his favorite part of the day.

He quickly pours their drinks and picks up the glasses, turning back to face Alec who was looking like he was a million miles away, a lost look in his eyes as Magnus slowly makes his way back towards him. Magnus didn’t want to startle him so before he took a seat, he quietly cleared his throat, holding out one of the wine glasses for him to take, which he does with a brief smile, shaking his head from whatever thought was occupying it.

“I must say, Alexander, you’re starting to worry me,” Magnus admits, taking a seat beside him and tentatively leaning against Alec’s shoulder.

Alec doesn’t say anything in response and for a moment, Magnus thinks that he might have fallen asleep, but then he heard Alec’s shuddering intake of breath and he knew that something horrible was definitely playing on the Shadowhunter’s mind.

“Alec,” Magnus calls out, shifting round on the couch so that he’s facing him, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he asks, “What is it?”

“I…” Alec breathes out, his voice cracking.

He didn’t want to tell Magnus what had happened through fear that the Warlock would abandon him, just like he knew his parents were going to do once the news reached them, if it hadn’t already – news tends to travel fast around the Institute and it doesn’t take long to reach Idris either.

In the back of his mind, Alec knew that he was being stupid thinking that Magnus would ever do such a thing, the Warlock has gone through his own fair share of abandonment in his extraordinarily long life, so he understands the pain that Alec is going through, but he just couldn’t face saying the words out loud, not just yet. If he says them to Magnus, then it becomes real, but if he held it all in…

“Alexander,” Magnus presses, giving Alec’s shoulder a little shake.

“Madame Inquisitor arrived at the Institute and she’s demanded that I step down with immediate effect,” Alec blurts out.

Alec’s mind had apparently already decided to tell Magnus the truth.

As he let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, he felt a tremendous weight lift from his shoulders but that wasn’t enough to stop his stomach from twisting at the thought of what Magnus would think of him. He couldn’t stop thinking that Magnus would be disgusted at him that he couldn’t hold onto an important role, that he would think Alec useless and would push him away and out of the apartment. He knew it was ridiculous, of course, Magnus wasn’t like that and he certainly wouldn’t push Alec away, but Alec still couldn’t look him in the eye as he sips at the wine.

“That’s not all,” Magnus replies, his voice even despite the flash of anger that crosses his expression.

Whether it was directed at Alec or at the Inquisitor, Alec wasn’t so sure that he wanted to know.

Alex shakes his head, as he raises the glass once more, but Magnus’ hand stops him from raising it to his lips.

“Alec, what else happened?” Magnus presses.

Alec knows that if he says the words, he’s going to crack.

He could already feel himself falling apart but one look at Magnus and his mouth was running itself.

“She made Jace the Head of the Institute,” Alec murmurs as he knocks back the remaining wine Magnus had just supplied him with. “Apparently having a personal connection to the Downworlders means that I am no longer able to remain objective enough to efficiently run the Institute.”

Alec places the now empty wine glass down on the coffee table with a little more force than he intended, causing the glass to shatter everywhere.

“Shit!” Alec exclaims as he reaches for the broken pieces, not realizing that a piece was sticking up until his hand connected and drew blood.

“Alexander…” Magnus breathes out, trying to keep Alec’s attention on him.

Alec was too worked up to notice what Magnus was doing, he was too focused on cleaning the broken glass up, just in case Magnus somehow got hurt too. It’s an automatic reaction that has been drilled into him; _if you make a mess, Alexander, it’s your responsibility to clean it up_ , his Mother used to scowl before turning on her heels and walking away from him, leaving him on his own to fix whatever he had messed up.

As Alec takes in a shuddering breath of panic, his hands shaking from the glass cutting him, he couldn’t help but think that if today has taught him anything, it’s that he not capable of doing anything right without something being messed up.

 _I can’t even put a simple glass down without it breaking_ , he thinks miserably as he keeps cleaning up the glass.

He could faintly hear Magnus talking to him but his brain couldn’t comprehend what he was saying through his frustration and overall exhaustion.

“ _ **Alec**_ , stop.” Magnus says firmly, reaching out to still Alec’s trembling hands while his eyes scanned Alec’s face until he caught his gaze, and added in a softer tone. “Just stop for a second and breathe with me, okay? It’s just a glass, I can easily fix it or make it disappear with a click of my fingers, just take a deep breath with me, okay? And then let it out… that’s good, can you keep doing that for me while I clean up your hand?”

Alec didn’t say anything, he didn’t trust his mouth with words at the moment so he simply nodded in response, his hazel eyes never leaving Magnus’ beautiful brown ones, even when the Warlock waved a hand with an over flourishment of movement and the wound on his hand closed, the blood that was quickly staining his skin disappearing a second later, not leaving a single trace that it had even been there in the first place.

Alec takes in another breath.

In all honesty, he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up about a broken wine glass, it’s as Magnus said it’s just a glass, he knows that he’s being stupid, just like he knows that he needs to keep his breathing steady and under control but his mind is running a thousand miles per hour and it was feeling like everything was finally starting to crush him under the weight of all the pressure and responsibility he has to carry.

He was literally too exhausted to even care about breaking down in front of Magnus.

Alec doubts that Magnus would think any less of him if he did actually start crying but he shook the thought away as quickly as it came; Magnus has been his rock, his one consistent presence and has already pretty much witnessed every single mood Alec has going through, intentional or not, yet he was still here… Magnus wasn’t going anywhere and if he were fazed by Alec’s mood swings, he didn’t let it show.

Magnus places a hand to the side of Alec’s face before pulling him towards him, his head resting on top of Alec’s as he just holds him.

“I’m sorry,” Alec murmurs into Magnus’ neck. “I didn’t mean to burden this on you, I’m just tired and I can’t think straight.”

Magnus tightens his grip on Alec as he places a kiss on top of his head.

“You don’t ever have to apologize, Alexander. It’s understandable that you’re frustrated; Imogen Herondale… well, let me put it this way, she’s not the easiest woman in the world to get along with,” Magnus states as he brushes a strand of hair away from Alec’s eyes. “It’s no secret that she respects honor and her family over anything else and she doesn’t beat around the bush in regards to her dislike of Downworlders, especially of me.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec says, his words honest. “The way that she treats you and every other Downworlder… it’s sickening.”

“It’s to be expected,” Magnus confirms. “We’ve come to accept our place around Shadowhunter’s. We may not like it, especially when we’re up against people like Imogen, but we’ve all learnt to adapt and for the most part, we live peacefully together, and every once in a blue moon we come across a Shadowhunter with such a pure heart, it makes even the most grumpiest of Warlocks sing… Shadowhunter’s like you, Alec.”

“You shouldn’t have to expect that though, no one should.” Alec says, his voice cracking. “And a pure heart can only get you so far.”

He knew that there were Shadowhunter’s out in the world who disliked Downworlders and would do all that they could in order to avoid helping them, his parents for starters were among those who wore their prejudice on their sleeves, they laid it out clear to those they were leading, making it abundantly clear to them that anyone who thinks otherwise, shouldn’t even be at the Institute. Alec hated them for that. He hated that they couldn’t see past their own teachings enough to realize the world was changing around them, that it doesn’t matter if they’re Downworlders or not.

The Angel and the Shadowhunter’s are there to protect all those in need, and that includes Downworlders, whether they like it or not.

It’s a lesson that Alec was determined to teach them as he accepted his place at the Institute but now… he can feel the built-up tears finally break free from his eyes as he tightens his grip on Magnus, his head furrowing deeper into Magnus neck as he holds back his cries.

“Shh, it’s okay, Alexander.” Magnus murmurs into his ear, his voice soothing as he runs a hand through Alec’s hair.

Alec couldn’t speak anymore, he couldn’t do much of anything anymore apart from grasping onto Magnus and just letting himself be held by the Warlock who against all odds, chose Alec to be his one and only; a choice that Alec is still processing.

Magnus doesn’t say anything as Alec cries.

He knows how much being the Head of the Institute had meant to Alec, and his own heart was breaking at the sight of his boyfriend crumbling to pieces in his arms at the decision of one bitter, grudge-bearing old woman. In the years that he’s known her, he had tried his best to get along with her, especially after she heard news of the death of her son, Stephen. He had offered her comfort and had tried to form an alliance, just in case she needed a Warlock for anything, but she had turned on him quicker than he turned to his magic, pushing him away and shutting him out.

Now she’s doing the exact same thing to Alec.

It had nothing to do with Alec’s ability to run the Institute.

She’s pushing him away and shutting him out for the choice he’s made in regards to a partner.

He could feel the anger bubbling inside of him but he forced himself to remain calm, it would not do Alec any good if Magnus unleashed his fury on the Inquisitor and it would most likely destroy him if he was taken away by the Silent Brothers and locked up for his actions. Any time away from Alec was painful enough, especially with how dangerous their jobs could be, and Magnus did not want to be the one responsible for Alec’s pain.

So, instead of creating chaos, he just sits there, running his hand soothingly through Alec’s hair as he holds onto him, not wanting to let him go.

* * * * * *

Alec shuffles out of Magnus’ bedroom, feeling much more refreshed but embarrassed by his breakdown the night before.

He wasn’t sure at which point they had moved from the couch into Magnus’ bedroom but he was grateful at not having to sleep on the couch; it was comfortable enough to make out with Magnus, but sleeping on the thing was a right strain on his back and neck. Alec shudders at the reminder of the first time he stayed over and he awake the next morning, hardly able to move. It took ages for him to remove the stiffness from his limbs that had crept into his bones and muscles while he slept. This morning though, he felt like he had slept on a cloud.

Following the scent of coffee, Alec finds Magnus bustling around the kitchen, hand brewing a pot of coffee like a Mundane instead of summing one like he usually did. When he first saw Magnus summon a coffee from the coffee shop, he was amazed but felt guilty about him just taking the coffee without paying for it, so when he left to head to the Institute, he called in on his way and just left some money on the counter which caused the girl that was standing by the coffee machine to give him a look as if to say ‘ _what are you doing? I haven’t taken your order_ ’ but he shrugged his shoulders, and mumbled something about _paying it forward_ before quickly leaving. It eased the guilt and he was able to enjoy the rest of his day.

He isn’t sure if Magnus ever found out about him leaving money in return for the coffee, but he hasn’t seen him summon a cup since.

Alec leans against the door frame, a smile on his face as he watches Magnus for a few moments. He took in the sight, took in his morning attire, took in the way his hair was still ruffled from sleep, and he listened to the content humming as he moved with ease gathering mugs and milk; he moved as easily and with the same contentment he shows when he was working on a new potion or learning a new spell.

Deciding to make his presence known, Alec straightens up and steps up behind Magnus, his arms wrapping around the Warlock’s slim waist as he nuzzles his nose against the back of his neck, breathing in the scent of the shampoo he loved so much.

Magnus chuckles softly as he turns round in Alec’s arms, his own wrapping around Alec’s waist as he tilts his head up for a kiss.

Alec is more than happy to oblige his request.

“I must say, Alexander, this is a wonderful way to start the day,” Magnus beams when he pulls out of the kiss.

His forehead remains resting against Alec’s as they both catch their breath.

“I’m glad that I could make it up to you,” Alec murmurs, his nose grazing affectionately against Magnus’s.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asks, confused.

“You know… for coming and having a breakdown… you can’t say that it didn’t ruin your evening,” Alec murmurs, his voice low.

“Alexander, as I told you last night, you never have to apologize to me, ever, and I would much rather you have a breakdown here than have one when you’re on your own and unable to calm down. It’s like I’ve said, your burdens are my burdens and we get through them _together_.”

Alec closes his eyes and pulls Magnus in closer to him as he recalls the fear he felt last night, afraid that if he laid his worries out in front of Magnus, that the older man would turn and push him away. He knew that it was stupid to think that way last night, but now, hearing Magnus’ words, he wanted to laugh at how ridiculous he had been. Alec had nothing to worry about when it came down to Magnus’s feelings for him, he should know to have more trust in the Warlock. It was hearing Magnus’ words that made Alec realize that it didn’t matter what position he held at the Institute, or how his parent’ and fellow Shadowhunter’s viewed him; the only person’s opinion which Alec really cared about and counted on was Magnus’.

Still, it doesn’t hurt to want to hear the words spoken out loud every once in a while.

“I love you,” Alec announces, his lips brushing against Magnus’ once more.

“And I love you… so much so that I have a little surprise for you,” Magnus smiles, returning Alec’s kiss before he spins on his heels to face the door as the buzzer sounds. “Now, I know yesterday was a bad day for you, and as much as I know you love my magic tricks, I thought I’d do one better.”

Now it was Alec’s turn to be confused.

He tilts his head to the side as Magnus swings open the apartment door, revealing Catarina and Madzie standing on the other side.

“Magnus!” Madzie smiles as soon as she sees him and wraps her arms around his neck when he kneels down to her height.

“Sweet Pea!” Magnus greets with a smile of his own as embraces the young girl.

Alec folds his arms across his chest as he leans back against the door frame, a smile on his face as he watches the two Warlock’s embrace. He had told Magnus before that he would make a great Father, if the future was kind enough to allow them to start a family together. Magnus had spent so much of his life taking care of others, that his skills are unmatchable. His eyes briefly glancing up at Catarina who gives him a smile of her own.

He takes a step forward and he watches as Madzie’s eyes go wide as she spots him standing behind Magnus.

“Alec!” The young Warlock cries out as she rushes towards him, smile wide as she jumps into his arms.

“Madzie! Hey! How’s my favorite little sorceress?” Alec asks, a grin on his face as he adjusts his grip so that she’s resting on his right hip.

“I’m going to have a sleepover with Magnus!” Madzie grins, wrapping her arms around Alec’s neck. “Are you going to stay too?”

“Yeah!” Alec replies, placing a kiss on her temple.

“Can we play _Sharks and Minnows_?!”

“You bet we can!” Alec smiles and started to tickle her sides as she giggles.

Magnus looked at Catarina who had a hand over her heart; she was completely enamored by how much love Alec had for Madzie.

Catarina was skeptical about Alec at first, Magnus knew that and she wasn’t the first one to express her doubts either, Raphael was quick to jump on him about his decision just like every other Downworlder he came across but after properly meeting him and spending some time with him, Catarina had grown to respect Alec for who he is and not just judge him based on his position at the Institute.

It really meant a lot to Magnus that his best friend was trying her best to get to know his boyfriend, and vice versa.

Magnus smiles from his place at the door, allowing the warmth to spread through him as he watches Alec and Madzie interact with each other. He wishes that Catarina could stay a little longer to enjoy this precious moment but he knew that she had to head off and so, he turned to her.

“I really appreciate you bringing Madzie here and allowing her to sleep over,” Magnus begins.

“It’s not a problem at all, actually your call came at the right time; I’ve been asked to speak at a Conference in Marrakesh and I wasn’t sure what to do with Madzie; they have some pretty strict rules about children and conferences.” Catarina explained, glancing over at the little girl. “But it seems as though this is the right place for her to stay while I’m away.”

“You know that I would be more than happy to look after her whenever you need, right?” Magnus asks, taking hold of her hands.

“I do, but I know how busy you get,” Catarina smiles. “Especially now that you’re helping Alec at the Institute.”

Magnus drops his gaze at her words, the smile slipping into a grimace at the mention of the place that’s caused Alec so much stress.

“You _are_ still helping at the Institute, right? They haven’t banished you or anything along those lines?” Catarina presses, picking up on Magnus’ discomfort around the subject; she had always been able to read him like a book, it was why he liked her so much.

“Actually… it appears that at the moment Alec is the one who’s been pushed out,” Magnus murmurs, his voice low so only she could hear.

“What? Why?” Catarina demanded, leaning in closer.

“Imogen Herondale has made an appearance and made an informal decision to choose her own grandson as the Head of the Institute while Alec’s parents are away sorting out their marital issues. Alec didn’t exactly take the news as well as the Inquisitor had hoped he would and he broke down last night. Which is why I called you to see if we could have Madzie for a few days; she’s the best at distracting him.” Magnus explained, looking back at the young Warlock and the lost Shadowhunter as they took turns pulling faces at each other.

“Well, we all know how Imogen can get, and honestly I’m not surprised with her choice.”

“Yeah, me neither but that doesn’t mean she’s right; Alec was born for the role, not Jace.”

Catarina was quiet for a moment as she followed Magnus’ gaze to where Madzie was, sitting contently on Alec’s hip as he spun them round. The sound of Madzie’s laughter reached her ears and she couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle of her own; she loved seeing Madzie happy and when she was around Alec, she couldn’t help but have a great big smile on her face as she played her favorite games with him.

“Take her for as long as you need,” she says, her voice soft.

“Are you sure?” Magnus asks, wanting to make sure that Catarina was really okay with it.

“Yes, besides it looks as though she’s doing a great job already of keeping Alec occupied; she’ll wear him out by lunch if she keeps up this pace,” she smiles. “Tell Alec that I’m sorry to hear his news, and just call if you need anything, or if Madzie needs anything, okay?”

“Of course, my dear, thank you.”

Magnus reaches out to embrace Catarina before bidding her farewell.

She takes one last look back at Madzie before turning and walking out the front door to the waiting portal that will take her to Marrakesh.

Closing the door behind Catarina, Magnus puts a smile on his face and spins back round to face Alec and Madzie, clapping his hands together.

“Okay, who’s up for some pancakes?”


End file.
